87 – Friends

Hello everyone. The previous beach walk was in June, so I have no clue who will see this. More importantly, I hope all of you are well. My re-start will be slow – that is, once a week until further notice.

Click the video above for 2 minutes of background waves while reading.

I like walking on the beach. It is good for the mind, body, and soul – and refreshing on my feet.

As I walk, I look at the sea as I think about some friends at home – wondering what they are doing – thinking those dealing with important issues – and then I wonder. How many friends have I had in my lifetime? Of course, that number isn’t even close to the number of people I’ve met in my lifetime.  

My walks are typically long, so whether standing in the water or splashing through it step by step, my feet and lower legs encounter a lot of water. Maybe a mere capful of water represents one person I’ve encountered in my life. Whether the water is washing over my feet or covering my calf as I stand, I wonder how many cupfuls of water have touched me on this walk. 

Photo by Laker on Pexels.com

Of all the personal encounters in my life, how many can I call a friend? If so, at what level of friendship would I identify them?  Realistically, and at my age, that question would be difficult to answer.

A friend is a person one knows – a friendship developed around a common interest. Friends can be a companion, confidant, soulmate, classmate, chum, buddy, sidekick, mate, amigo, and many other terms.

We have neighborhood friends, childhood friends, school friends, and work friends to name a few. Friends are also around activities as car club friends, dance friends, golf friends, book club friends, and more. Some people also have church friends and college friends. Let’s not forget people we consider as a friend we make through various Internet activities. I admit, for me, it is blogging – so yes, I have blogging friends.

We have best friends, long-time friends, fair-weathered friends, and friends of a friend. There are friends in high places, friends of the court, and friends with benefits. You can have old friends, but we will never have new old friends. Then there’s a man’s best friend who isn’t human. 

Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV on Pexels.com

The way we use the word “friend” seems so casual to me. Surely each friend isn’t of equal value. Certainly, some friendships are deeper and more meaningful than others. I am confident Google knows if a hierarchy exists.

Of course, levels of friendship exist. After all, people study friendships. From friendly strangers to acquaintances to evolving friends to casual friends than close friends to best friends to intimate friends – but intimate doesn’t imply a sexual relationship. Other descriptors of stages include strangers, simple, regular, good, close, true, and more.

Regardless of the hierarchy used, the friendship status depends on the level of communication, common interest, emotion, shared values, commitment, connection, honesty, level of enjoyment, and mutual respect.

Being from a small town, I was lucky to have a group of friends from first grade through high school. Those friends helped shape who I am today.

I was lucky to have wonderful friends in college – and we’ve stayed in contact for many years since those campus days. Those friends also played a role in shaping who I am today. 

Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels.com

Making friends as kids seemed so easy and innocent. After all, the top criteria are nice and fun to be around.

As we get older, people take different paths. Yes, some leading to new friends while others involve leaving some friends behind.

As adults, making friends seems more difficult. Maybe adults are looking for more than nice and fun to be around. Maybe adults identify more substance than we did as kids. Maybe instead of getting to know them, we are more standoffish – cautiously protecting ourselves.

Now in my mid-upper sixties, my friends are from different phases of my life – including first grade. After all, we humans are social creatures who strive for relationships. 

Friends are the ones that we want to be around no matter our mood because they are reliable.

Friends are there to lift us with encouragement, to pick us up when we fall or are down, and to keep us grounded. 

Photo by RF._.studio on Pexels.com

Friends laugh together, listen when needed, hold our hand for comfort, provide a hug for reassurance, and even lend a shoulder to cry on.

Because friends bring out the best in us, I never imagined differences of opinion around politics, religion, and life philosophy would cause a withdrawal from a friendship. However, today’s hyper-partisan environment can weaken friendships or even cause them to break apart.

Friends are the source of the greatest pleasures and support, plus deliver surprises.

Friends are more important than accomplishments because friends are connected and have a common language of meaning.

Photo by fotografierende on Pexels.com

Friends are people builders, so they make time to talk when there is a need.

Friends shine a light for guidance, the light for overcoming personal darkness, and a light that shines on yesterday, today, and tomorrow. So, friends stay together in the light and the dark.

There is a lot to friendship. Plus, the levels of friendship exist as a pyramid – wide at the base becoming fewer when progressing to the next level.

I’ve developed new friendships during snowbird season – but not top-level friends – but more around the understanding as children – people who are nice and fun to be around. Isn’t it interesting how aspects of life go full circle?

Friends – good thoughts for any day. Plus, many different people came to my mind. Nonetheless, good thoughts for a day because I like walking on the beach, which is good for the mind, body, and soul – and refreshing on my feet.

See what other bloggers have posted about friends

Next Post: Ultimate Friend – Saturday 30th October @ 1 AM (Eastern US)

94 thoughts on “87 – Friends”

  1. I think you have covered the whole realm of the world of friends!

    I have a good friend whom I have not seen in years, and yet the last time we had a meet up, it was like we had not ever been apart. Not only do we not see eachother, she lives on the west coast, thousands of miles away. I am thankful not only for her, but for the ways we can keep in touch, the phone, letters and cards…(yup, I am old fashioned as well as old, LOL)…and nowadays the computer and other technology.

    My sister is also my good friend, and we are closer now than when we were growing up!

    I ‘build’ friendships with some of the long term residents I care for at my work, and get very attached to them, some of my younger co workers think its wrong to do that, but I find my care is much better if I love them! And it makes for better ‘atmosphere’. Of course iit really hurts when they pass away, but then I have many memories to treasure forever.

    Our world is a better place when you have friends in it.

    (I missed you at Teddy’s Teaser…hope you are well, my blogging friend.)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ingrid,
      First of all, I laughed when I saw you as the first commenter. Another Firstie for your blogging resume! 🙂 I’ve missed a short string of Teaser Tuesday, but I should return this week. Just so you know, life is well at this end, so thanks for asking.

      Cheers to your approach with the long-term residents. Yes, it hurts when they pass, but cheers to the memories they give you. More importantly, what you gave them was probably more important than we realize.

      I smiled at your other examples of friends. I think of my wife who is very close to her sister – and has a few friends from her childhood that don’t seem to miss a beat. Thanks for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Frank… yes, friends are important whether they be online or in ‘real life’. I’ve needed both the help of friends and friendly help lately. Nice to see you again (I’m slowly returning to blogging myself!)
    Have a good Saturday.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Great to see you back Frank. I’ve cut my schedule down too so I can read and keep up… Great post on friendship and love your song choice. Your sentiments are well taken and I value the gift of friendship and each one being different than the other. 💖💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cindy,
      Thanks for the kind words and support. Balance in life has always been important, and everyone sees balance differently (which is OK). Like you, I value friendships. Within the past month, I travelled cross-state to attend my 50th HS reunion – which was interesting and something that I valued. 🙂 Oh – glad you enjoyed the song – and the video images convinced me! Thanks for stopping by and sharing.

      Like

  4. Enjoyed this. Good to see you back. My friends evaporated when I was long-term ill (except for my family & 2 former work colleagues) But since being on WordPress, and now on Twitter I’m gaining friends of a more permanent nature. Love them. Supportive. Caring. There for me, and I am there for them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Crispina,
      Supportive and caring are important. Although sad, I’m glad you mentioned a time when friends evaporated because a time of need is when we discover a lot about friends. During the lockdown portion of the pandemic, I can say I contacted everyone on my contact list. On the flip side, I received only a handful of people checking in on me. That told me something …. hmmmmm ….. Meanwhile, thanks for sharing this and for providing wonderful photos on Twitter to start my day.

      Like

  5. Glad to be reading the blog again Frank. You picked a great subject too – friends are MANY different things to each of us. As a child in a military family, moving every two years made friendships challenging but I learned how to “find” friends quickly. You would rarely KEEP them as everyone circulated out of your world quickly. I know what friendship means to me and each of us has different feelings about that I know……one common thing is those we call friends are important to us in some way. If it’s for a month, a year, or a lifetime – friends are in our hearts and we need them in a sometimes undefinable way. Nice to have your wise words back my FRIEND.

    Pam

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Pam,
      I’m so glad you shared your experience as a military child on the move. The fact that you learned how to find friends while recognizing the difficulty in moving on. On the hand, I’ve heard military kids say that they learned how to stay distant – never getting close – because they knew they would be moving on soon. Like you said, we are all different. Also, thanks for the kind words because they made me smile. I should be back in class on Tuesday. PS: Surprise, surprise! Ingrid was the first commenter on this post – another Firstie for her!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh, what a beautiful way of coming back… my friend! I consider just one kind of friend, the one who’s name brings an instant smile and who is present even from a distance. Great to see you back! Yamas and cheers to friendship!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi Frank! A lovely post on friendship. There are indeed all sorts of friends–the friends you know you can call any time, the casual friends, the blogger friends. . . .I hope you’ve had a good break. Welcome back!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Merril,
      Good morning to you and thanks for the welcome back comment. The topic of friends covers such a wide spectrum, which I tried to convey here – but when we look at it, maybe the different levels are needed because each of them play a different role. Break was good …. the longest of my long blogging career, but it is also good to be back.

      Like

  8. I love this! Shared on my Facebook too!
    I also am from a small town and have friends from kindergarten still (I turn 60 soon.) Time flies. Take the time.
    Here’s a song we wrote to honor one of my first friends who passed away 3 weeks after his C*VD shot (he was a nursing supervisor and much loved at his hospital so believe me, they did everything to save him).
    https://www.n1m.com/richardmurrey/song/1009302-first-friends

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelia,
      Time sure flies for all of us. As I like to say, time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana. Oh …. I couldn’t resist that one! 🙂 You have me wondering if we small towners look at friends differently than those who grew up in urban settings. Just a thought. Thanks for sharing the song dedicated to your friend who is obviously special to you. Peace and strength to you and everyone who knew him – and my the memories bring joys and smiles. Love the song – both the beat and the lyrics. Your voice?

      Like

  9. Sometimes friends remain no-name strangers, but in our hearts they are ones we look for on our walks and offer a wave or a nod. We miss them when life takes them elsewhere. Welcome back, Frank.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Lately, I am focused on blog friends, Frank. I’m amazed by how well I feel I know the people in the community. It’s good to see your posts back in my inbox. Enjoy those walks and all those cups of water.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dan,
      Thanks for the welcome back! Blog friends are the biggest surprise that I didn’t expect to happen those many moons ago when I started blogging. Even the early names often pop into my mind – even bloggers who have passed. Nonetheless, excellent thoughts and thanks for the kind words.

      Like

  11. Welcome back Frank! And what a lovely thought with which to start my morning. Here on our little island, most of us arrive without knowing anyone so there is a genuine interest in finding those who share common interests and are open to new ideas. Blogging friends, especially my Lens-Artists partners and people like you, has been an added bonus!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tina,
      Good morning to you along the sea & thanks for your kind words. Great point about those who move – especially in retirement. Leaving the comfort of home, friends, and routine for the great unknown isn’t easy. Some embrace it and others don’t. Some adapt to make new connections while others wait on connections to happen. Meanwhile, good to be back and thanks for the smile you brought to me this morning!

      Like

  12. Hello Frank, nice to have you back with your nice words. Hope everything is OK with you and you only needed a time off. Friendship is complicated, some friends are forever, the bound never breaks, others are fragile, we always need to be tending for it, and others are better if never existed.
    As we get older you look for quality and not quantity, I think for everything not only in relation to friends. The less the better. Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Elizabeth,
      All is well here. I was time-poor when I started the break … plus I was thinking a lot & just not motivated. But in the big picture, I was healthy. 🙂 Thanks for wondering and I appreciated the comments at your end. Yes, friendships are complicated and always tested (my words) … Love the idea of quality over quantity. Hope your weekend is off to a good start.

      Like

  13. Welcome back! I’m with Dan Antion about blogging friends. What a wonderful community! Keeping me sane during the pandemic. Recently, I had the great pleasure to actually meet a blogging friend (and his wife!) all the way from Illinois. I’ve always liked that Elton John song.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Laurie,
      Thanks for the welcome back … and I’m happy to see you today. There is no question about the importance of blogging friends. I like to think about the parallels between blogging friends and in-person friends … interesting to think about. Cheers to you recently meeting a blogger and his wife. I’ve been blogging a long time, but have only met several others. Glad you enjoyed my choice of Elton!

      Like

    1. Connie,
      Thanks for the welcome. Yep – blogging friends are important, which is why I included them in the walk. It’s possible to even wonder that some of the unsuccessful bloggers are the ones who do not try to build relationships. Cheers to you! Enjoy your weekend.

      Like

  14. What an excellent thought provoking piece. Friendship, in all its forms, enhances who we are. We are stronger for having friends and they helped to shape us into the best part of who we can be or the worst.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Pam,
      Welcome back – glad you stopped by. No question that friendships come in many forms. I have been a long believer in the fact that the most important choice a person makes in their lifetime are the decisions of who they decide to have in their personal circle because it is those people that can lead you in a direction – and yes – we want to go in a positive direction – but we both know some people can lead us in the opposite direction. Thanks for your thoughts.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Friends are a part of growing relationships and a fulfilling part of our lives. Good friends don’t always come easy and we should cherish those relationships. So glad to see you back in the blogosphere, Frank!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Welcome back Cincy. Or as I like to think of you, blog friend (I say pal but same difference).

    Friendships are commitments, and you’re right, they vary in so many ways but they’re good to have when you need them and when you don’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Marc,
      Thank you, kind sir. I’m always amazed how the comments include points I will I would have made … and Commitment is a great word to apply to friendships …. well, at least those at the higher levels on the hierarchy. Meanwhile, thanks for your friendship!

      Like

  17. I love your reflections on what makes a friend! Personally, I find some of the friends made in childhood are the people who I still care about, love, laugh, and cry with, but also recall that making lasting friends as a kid is also rocky ground, as one ‘wrong’ move suddenly meant you were not cool anymore . . . rough, like stormy waves.
    Thanks for sharing! It is good to see you back. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jaya,
      Welcome back and thanks for returning. I imagine that many others will concur with your comment about friends. Then again, that depends on many factors – such as moving a lot when during their youth. Besides, some people found their high school years to be horrifying. On the other hand, I too have friends from my youth that we simply seem to connect – even after many years. Thanks for sharing!

      Like

  18. Happy to see you back my blog friend!
    Once a week sounds sane. Thing is after blogging for many years, there is a lot of reciprocal blog friend visiting.
    Even at my slow rate of postings, I barely keep up.
    You say “Friends shine a light for guidance”
    I think a new regular word comes from this – Friendshine.
    Clink!!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Resa!
      Cheers to my Toronto-based blog friend. Clink! I figure once a week with an occasion two-fer is a good start – and who knows, that may be the new routine. Time will tell. Besides, both of us know to beware of getting caught on the blogging treadmill. Friendshine – I like it … Another toast … clink!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Welcome back, Frank. I hope your break was enjoyable and refreshing. I think often about friends, particularly since we haven’t had much chance to make new ones since moving due to Covid. We have family here, but family and friends aren’t alike in all important ways. I’m thankful for texting and FaceTime that allow me/us to keep in contact. I’ve also taken time since we moved to send lots of cards to friends in various places, including some blogging friends in other countries. Snail mail rocks! Again, welcome back.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Janet,
      Greetings Arizona. Hope all is well. Oh boy … moving during Covid puts a dagger through building new relationships. I can’t imagine. On the other hand, maintaining contacts was important to having relationships … and technology helps. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

      Like

  20. Hi Frank! So nice to see you. I consider you a friend. I think when we meet people – whether online or in person – we can sense when we are welcome. We can feel when they care and of course, it is reciprocal. I think I’ve become closer to some blogging friends than friends in my off-line life. There is something that allows us to share and allow ourselves to be vulnerable in this community where we wouldn’t necessarily dare in “real” life. I cherish all my friendships. I love Resa’s new word. We have to make it a thing. Friendshine!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dale,
      Cheers to the fine lady from Quebec. Good to see you again. Covid & technology sure have added to the complexity of friendships. I find it interesting to consider the similarities and differences between on-line and off-line friendships. Cheers to Friendshine!

      Like

    1. Cindy,
      Welcome back to the beach where friends gather. Fortunately, I avoid the cruel and divisive nature of the online world – but I know it’s there. Unfortunately, that attitude is creeping into the in-person world. YUK! …. But I still maintain that the majority of the world is good!

      Like

  21. So nice to see you again, Frank! It’s true, there are so many kinds of friends and I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the subject. Lately I’ve been enjoying a renewed friendship from high school. It’s amazing how the years have changed us, we’re 64 now, yet the things that made us friends in the first place are still there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Barbara,
      Good to see you and thanks for the kind words. In late September I attended my 50th HS class reunion. It’s about a 3-hour drive, so I don’t regularly see my classmates. But I can say that it was a wonderful visit and a chance to reconnect. It’s amazing how some connections remain strong! Thanks for sharing.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Steve,
      Welcome back to the beach. Friends offer a lot to ponder. No doubt, cheers to our pets because they give us a lot. Some are so loyal, they are there for us no matter the events of our day. It was subtle, but I did mention them in the text. Hope all is well.

      Like

  22. Frank, I’ve missed you. I saw a comment on Elizabeth’s WQWWC post, so I checked you out. I hope you are doing well and have had a relaxing time off from posting. We all need a break, and I’ve had to take one too this summer.

    To me friends are so important because I have such a small family – especially as I am older. I have friends who have had to take the place of close family. But all types of friends as you described are part of our make-up and as such, necessary for life.

    I hope you have a wonderful week. Stay safe and healthy. Marsha 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Marsha!!!
      Glad to see you. Happy that you made you way via Elizabeth. When I saw her posted linked back to you, I thought I stopped by and commented. Then again, who knows. Summer and blog break were good, but this was the longest break I’ve ever taken.

      Another great point about friends. I’m also from a small family – one sister who is 7 years younger – so I can see how close friends are substitutes for family members. Isn’t interesting that we seem to use the word (friends) so loosely for such a broad group of people? Thanks for sharing!

      Like

  23. Hi Frank! Good to hear from you, and what a lovely blog post. Friends are often closer and more important than family. Whether they are with us for only a few years, or for a lifetime, they become our foundation. Recently I was interviewed by a fellow blogger who asked what surprised me the most about blogging. I told him it was the friendships I had developed, real friendships. Isn’t that wonderful?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jennie,
      Welcome back to the beach and thanks for the kind words. Oh my …. I am right with you about the biggest blogging surprise. No doubt about it. It’s interesting how friends pop in and out of our lives due to a variety of reasons. When I came to this area many years ago, I only knew two people – and one of them was more of an acquaintance. But now, I have numerous friends here – but they also come and go. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

      Like

  24. It’s so good to hear from you again, my blogging friend. I have always valued my many friendships, but have appreciated them even more in the last two years when life has hit some bigger bumps, and they were there for me. I had lunch this week with a very good friend I originally met in the first grade. We’ve known each other more than 60 years. I have a few other friends that go back that far, and I consider them a gift! Have a good week, Frank.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Debra,
      You are one of my longer blog friends, so special thanks to you – especially by keeping in touch during your challenging year. ! Last month I attended my 50th HS class reunion – and yes – saw a good number of people that I first met in first grade. Simply wonderful! …. so cheers to your recent lunch. Keep smiling … and thanks for reaching out. 🙂

      Like

  25. Welcome back!
    Friends are something I think of often. I wonder how I lost touch with so many, do they still remember me, was I a good friend?
    It’s not hard to imagine friends falling out over politics and beliefs. That’s how the civil war pitted brother against brother.
    I like to think that friends come into each others life when they need each other and if they drift apart it is not because of foul play but because they accomplished what they had to when they needed to as friends. Some of my most important friends are ones who were in my life for the briefest of moments but they had the biggest impact.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Michelle,
      Good to see you and welcome back to Beach Walk Reflections. I too have wondered about the questions that you ponder. The impact of all friends at all levels is significant in both positive and negative directions. Some can build you up while others hold you back. I have said for a long time and continue to believe that the most important decision a person makes in life is the choice of people to be in their orbit … and that is true no matter the place or situation. Regarding losing a friend because of hyperpartisanship and other societal factors, I can say that it happened to me and that I’m the one who initiated the action. If I don’t want to hear something stupid, don’t give them a chance to talk … and the stupid stuff goes beyond politics. Nonetheless, friends are important and enrich our lives – but they come and go for a variety of reasons. Thanks for sharing.

      Like

    1. Amy,
      Thanks for popping over & glad you enjoyed the walk. The next week is about the friend who is at the top of the pyramid. Glad you enjoyed the images. I though I enjoy coordinating with photographers, these are courtesy of Pexels.com. At least they give me many choices! 🙂

      Like

  26. Welcome back, Frank! Regardless of how often you choose to post, I think you select interesting topics and cover them thoroughly. ‘Friends’ is no different. I can’t imagine life without friends. Not only for the things they bring to your life (like companionship) but also for the connection you have with them … and the knowledge that true, deep friendships are rare indeed. Many good points here today!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Debbie,
      Absolutely with you … that is, it is hard to imagine life without friends …. and those few top-level friendships that are true and deep may be rare, but they are rewarding —- well, at least for those who are lucky to have such a person. How all is well.

      Like

  27. I don’t know what we’d do without our friends. We don’t have any family nearby, so it was friends who had to deliver groceries while we were under quarantine. I marveled at how lucky we were to have such willing, caring friends. The best kinds, while others said, “Let us know if you need anything,” but you sort of knew they were just saying what they were supposed to say. 🙂
    Glad to see you back, Frank!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Anita,
      Thanks for the warm welcome back. There is so much to say about friends – especially since they come in so many forms, situations, circumstances, and levels. But I can say this walk actually leads into the next one. Hmmmmm ….. Oh yes – Blogging friendships were definitely helpful during the pandemic. Probably more so than we realize!

      Like

  28. What a beautiful contemplation about friends, Frank. And pondering you thinking about this as you walk down the beach is really lovely. I am noticing that when I was younger I seemed to want/need more friends. These days I am more at peace alone and don’t need others as much. But they delight whenever they appear.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. WELCOME BACK, aFRANK …
    I’m with you there are so many people we meet throughout our lives that we can feel
    comfortable calling ‘A Friend’. When one is younger one tend to be a lot more open
    about creating friendships. As we age, health concerns, self-care and lack of the energy
    creates a smaller friend group. By then, those friends we keep are our strength when we most need
    them. As we change, our connections to our friend’s changes too. The circle is smaller but they’re the best ones.
    I hope your life continues to be full of the best people to lift you up.
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Isadora,
      Thanks for the welcome back! Given the broadness of the subject, much can be said about friends … and I’m sure this walk only scratched the surface. You made good points about friends and aging. It’s definitely different than during the working years! Thanks for sharing!

      Like

  30. Thank you, my friend, for joining Walktober again. I thoroughly enjoyed your walk through what it means to be a friend. I hope this finds you healthy and well, on all levels. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Thank you for this. It’s an important topic, friends. When my dad died we contacted most of his friends (those listed on his excel spreadsheet of Christmas card recipients) and noted he had friends from grade school, through highschool, college, the Army, and from all the towns he had lived in since. He stayed in contact with so many people, all different, from different walks in life. That’s the sign of a good, rich life. Thank you also for the wonderful waves. I loved listening to them as I read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dawn,
      What a great comment and testament to your dad. My dad was the same way as he sent many cards. When he passed, I wrote a letter, made copies, then sent it to those in his address book – and just ahead of Christmas card season. Then the surprise of people responding to my sister or me. Thanks for sharing and I hope you return.

      Like

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