139 – Talk

Click the video above for 2 minutes of background waves while reading.

I like to walk on the beach. It is good for the mind, body, and soul – and refreshing on my feet.

There are times when I prefer walking alone because I can go at my pace, choose my distance, and have greater freedom of thought. It’s also a time when I don’t feel the need or requirement to talk because I enjoy listening to my thoughts while integrating the environmental sights and sounds. Don’t get me wrong, but I enjoy talking with the right people.

We talk to give ideas, to be funny, inform, express feelings, motivate, pay homage, console, manage, orate, gossip, tell jokes or a story, and more. 

Photo by mentatdgt on Pexels.com

We talk to speak, chat, converse or just say – to babble, jabber, gab, yak, rap, run the mouth, or chew the fat. We talk to express ideas, communicate, articulate, confer, vocalize, enunciate, pronounce, or just talk. 

We talk to discuss personal or intimate feelings, reveal secrets, discuss in confidence, emphasize the seriousness and importance, persuade, convince, advise, encourage, discourage, urge, and argue. 

We talk to comment, criticize, debate, mediate, intercede, moderate, negotiate, conciliate, bargain, haggle, dicker, hustle, tittle, tattle, plus wheel, and deal.

We talk with others:  friends, family, colleagues, and strangers. Some talk to their deity, a pet, the moon, stars, themselves, or even a fence post. But talking to a wall is no fun.

Some of us talk slow, others fast – some loud, but others soft – but some people don’t have much to say. Some speak with confidence, others less so – but we can misjudge confidence. 

Photo by Vera Arsic on Pexels.com

I think about people who love to talk – who do so for various reasons. While some feel the need to be center stage, others can’t help it as if excessive talking is in their DNA. While some people can’t wait to demonstrate what they know (or think they know), others can’t wait to talk. 

Some people eagerly and thoughtfully wait to include something meaningful, but others jump in because they can’t wait to talk. I shake my head thinking of people who ask a question not to hear your thoughts because they want to tell you theirs. I also laugh thinking of people whose time in silence has difficulty exceeding 15 seconds. 

Some talk to be the center of attention as the conversation goes through them because they are the hub of the conversion. I think of a bicycle wheel: they are the center while the others are the spokes. Some talk to show others how smart they are, but maybe how dumb, but a few speak with authority.

I think about the people favoring talking over listening by focusing on what to say next and immediately do at the next opening, such as a pause to inhale. But I did work with someone who talked when inhaling so he could not keep talking. It is possible these same people also mumble something incomprehensible after a big bite of food because they have to talk.

Photo by ELEVATE on Pexels.com

I also think about those that can hold a coherent conversation. These people respectfully listen and engage. These people ask and answer questions. These people engage with others verbally and mentally. These people are the conversationalists clicking together like puzzle pieces with engaging, thought-provoking, and fun conversations.

We talk to give information, express thoughts or emotions – or just talk. Talk ranges from loud and funny to quiet and retrospective – from low and slow to biting our tongue – from enthusiastic and motivational to solemn and serious. To accomplish this, we verbalize and vocalize to communicate with each other because humans are very social creatures. That’s who humans are, so talking is in our DNA. 

So, we engage in small talk, smooth talk, sweet talk, double talk, coffee talk, back talk, pep talk, fast talk, table talk, pillow talk, straight talk, guy talk, girl talk, heart-to-heart talk, shoot the breeze, talk in circles, and who knows how many more. I also like TED Talks – but that involves listening.

I’m walking alone today, but is thinking and reflecting about talk a form of talking? You can decide. After all, I like walking on the beach because it is good for the mind, body, and soul – and refreshing on my feet. 

See what other bloggers have posted about Talk

Next Post: Anticipation – Saturday 18 June @ 1 AM (Eastern US)

74 thoughts on “139 – Talk”

  1. Before I talk…well, put my thoughts down on the screen…I loved that cellist and the music. Once for about a year I tried to learn that instrument…but I found it hindered my violin technique so I stopped and stuck with the original one I was learning.

    Your thoughts about talk, made me think how hard it would be to be deaf…you don’t need sight to talk…but well deafness is just a blank silence.

    Then I thought also about those I care for who can no longer talk…some due to strokes, some due to dementia…but almost all of them in some way can respond to talking, both by myself and others. I work with one man who still can talk…clearly…and one would think he has all kinds of history to tell whoever wants to hear it…but then we all realize he is in his own fantasy world! Which is so sad, really.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ingrid,
      You have told us (many times) about how you engage with many of your residents. This time you expanded our view of world – dealing with those you can’t talk – with those you talk in a fantasy world. However, no matter where the patient is on the talk range, you are there to help while realizing the balance between empathy and care. Cheers to you for what you do. Thanks for sharing a bit more about yourself because I didn’t know you dabble in playing violin. Glad you enjoyed the music.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I can talk to anyone, but I like a two way conversation. I have seen my husband, who is a man of few words, try to dodge people who monopolize the conversation. I do not enjoy listening to someone who nevr stops talking and makes it impossible to carry on a conversation with anyone else in the room. Interestin post Frank.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amy,
      Wow … I didn’t know the number, but regardless – I’m not surprised that the value would be between 1/4 and 1/3. Most people (me included) have a tendency to feed off a sentence rather than the point … and then waiting to pounce when the opportunities is right. Then again, there are those who speak that we only want to hear 30% because much of what they say is clearly somewhere in space.. Thanks for your thoughts.

      Like

  3. Frank, back in the day I took a course called “Communications 101.” And yes, while the endgame of this class was designed to give you the toolkit to better get across your thoughts to any size audience, the #1 rule was always to be a good listener. I think when people first think of communication they jump to, and focus upon, how they are going to make themselves heard and understood. What we must always keep in mind is what we are hearing back. It is then when a more-perfect act of communication can exist.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bruce,
      Yes – communications 101 – a toolkit. In a job setting one must communicate with peers, managers, clients, and move – and so much comes down to communication – that balance between listening and delivering a clear message. Family and relationships are more of the same.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I come from a very chatty ethnic group—Franco-American. Not too many quiet moments in my family, but we all did listen as well as talk. My husband is a Yankee, a much more laconic group than Franco-Americans are. I like to say we have a mixed marriage. 😉

    Like

  5. Another great post, Frank. I think that I listen and think more than I talk. I do find however that when someone doesn’t know when to stop talking, I just tune out. This works when there are a few people there, but can be a bit awkward when it’s just one to one. 😅

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Pam,
      Whereas some like to focus on the fact that other species communicate, But to me, human communication is so complex. As you mentioned, we use our entire body. We also have many variations in our speech … let alone communicate through writing, art, mathematics, music, and other forms. So yes – all of us want to belong and we seek it through communication.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Frank, I believe it was Epictetus who said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Personally, despite my sometimes-chattiness, I’m more introverted and prefer to listen to others talk. That way, I often surprise myself at what I can learn!

    Like

  7. Frank,
    I am pretty sure you have gathered I am a talker. However, I am also a good listener. But! There are times I come back from a get-together with friends and I ask myself, was I the only one blabbing? I have been assured not to worry. I am also told I am so entertaining, they just feed me a word to keep me going. 🙄
    Hmm. Exuberance is me 😉
    Loved the piece of music but didn’t watch the video so I cannot judge if it is corny or not 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dale,
      I have no doubt that you are a talker. Exuberance could be a good word, but also is the good news that others feed you to keep you going. Regarding the video, I can see Jo’s point about corny – but I think it is the type of corny that will meet with your approval.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t think I’m a time hog. I can’t be if friends still want me around, right? 😂
        It probably does but neither here nor there, I did enjoy listening to it. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m posting this after Dale, and I am probably her complete opposite. 😀 I definitely talk when I’m with my family and with small groups of friends. I’m also fine sitting in companionable (not awkward) silence.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Merril,
      Thanks for sharing a bit about yourself. Humanity offers so many different personalities. I’m also a talker, but there are times when I’m on the quiet side – especially if I’m with a new group of people as I want to see if they show an effort to draw me in.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. The first comment from our friend Ingrid was MY first thought after reading your blog……my Mom passed away from Alzheimers and the last year or so was when I learned how much one can say with ones’ eyes – she couldn’t voice things but she could still feel them and we could “read” her eyes. Anyway, I have never been much of a talker – I took Public Speaking to try and overcome my “stage fright” in front of a group…that helped a lot and made it possible for me to enjoy my own book signings and readings some years ago. I enjoy listening to people who really KNOW what they’re talking about though – the ones who talk to hear themselves talk are the ones I tune out. Talk is one form of communication – there are so many including touch. Great subject Frank!

    Pam

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Pam,
      Thanks for sharing your personal stories. I’m imagine your mom’s eyes served as a point of comfort to counter the sadness of the situation – but that’s just a sense that I have. Cheers to the enjoyment you find in listening to interesting people! Being a listener and observer of others in a group setting is an interesting exercise in itself!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I try to go away from people that talk to much and wants to be the center of the universe. Oh no! I don’t have patient for them. It’s nice to share ideas, when the conversation has 2 sides, giving and receiving. And being alone talking with ourselves is wonderful, I think this way we are talking to our inner-self and also listen to it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Elizabeth,
      The excessive talkers get to me too. I see them as several types – the talkers, the know-it-alls, and the centers of attention – so we teach each of them differently. The talkers aren’t the same as the other two because they just talk! Meanwhile, good point about talking to our inner self. Thanks for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I think it’s only a form of talking when it becomes a blog post. But the thinking of it? Well, maybe. If you’re having a conversation with yourself. 🙂 There is nothing like a good conversation with someone who knows how to listen.

    Hope all is well with you, Frank. Take care, my friend. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Robin,
      All is well here. Thanks for asking. Summer is a busy time for me – but I’m hanging in there. Good conversations with someone who is a good listener, knowledgeable, and pleasant are wonderful. So wonderful, we don’t get enough of them! You got me wondering, aren’t all blog posts with narratives a form of talking? I can say that exposure to a talker get me thinking about talk. As with any topic, focusing on a topic pulls ideas and experiences together.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Marc,
      Indeed – the world can be very loud! I had to check my files to confirm this. I have published a beach walk about Quiet – https://beachwalkreflections.wordpress.com/2021/05/20/77-quiet/ – but not one on silence. However, I have recorded notes about silence, so that walk will probably be in the future. (I take notes before drafting). Your interest in the silence may get me to draft it this winter. Plus, I may add Loud to the list of possible walks.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s exceedingly loud these days and frankly (pun intended), it’s too much.

        The silence is hard to find, but worth it. It would be interesting to read your thoughts on silence.

        When you add loud, you’re gonna have to whittle it down because you are going to have a ton of culprits.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Spoken words are far different than the words we read. The power of conversation is what makes words meaningful. It’s how you say what you say.

    Like

  13. I truly enjoyed reading your breakdown of the different kinds of “talk.” I do not enjoy small talk, or party cocktail chatter, and do what I can to avoid it, but it’s an art that some people do very well. Instead I enjoy more intimate conversations and I have particular people in my life who make every conversation rich and infused with reciprocity. After so many months of near isolation I have found conversation with some people more difficult. I may have lost some resilience. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Debra,
      Glad you enjoyed this stroll and thanks for sharing your thoughts. GIven that we are such a communicative species, no wonder we have a wide range of talks. Small talk is hard – especially with an introvert! But hey – talk starts somewhere. I’m ok with party conversations – well – at least the engaging ones. But the rich conversations with someone interesting and thoughtful are the best. I agree that isolation had an effect on conversations. But affecting your resilience? … I’m guessing tolerance … well, at least for me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I probably gave away a little of my personal issues with what I said about resilience, but I think you got it. Tolerance is probably at the heart of it. It takes work today to navigate a lot of topical conversation, and in isolation I was primarily surrounded by “agreement” and didn’t have to filter much. 🙂

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.