198 – Belonging

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I like walking on the beach. It is good for the mind, body, and soul – and refreshing on the feet.

This walk is not about what belongs to him, her, or me. It’s not about possessions. It’s about acceptance, connection, fellowship, affinity, association, community, and integration – to be included – to feel a sense of belonging.

The idea occurred to me the other day while reflecting on my life. I wondered: What did I want in life? What did I seek or desire? When did I feel the best? These questions are the ones that led me to think about belonging.

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Belonging is a feeling – a sense gathered through individuals, groups of people, and even places.

Belonging is a sense of trust, confidence, and security – a sense of closeness – even stability.

Belonging is a positive experience – yet I think about those desiring belonging, but others shunned away for one reason or another.

I think about belonging as a basic need of all humans. It’s not the only need but belonging deserves a place alongside survival, freedom, love, respect, and fun.

I think back to my youth wondering about the people I treated with some version of meanness. Kids can be cruel to others because they don’t realize everyone desires belonging. Adults are a little better but still have a way to go.

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I think about the sense of belonging I felt during my five years in the college marching band because it gave me self-worth and pride. I served with enthusiasm and pride – then cried like a baby after the last performance. A feeling that culminated in my sense of belonging that would be no more.

I think about the people who gave me a sense of belonging, such as the selective co-workers who respected my thoughts while realizing we were all in it together. They are special to me – especially those that I felt in their absence once they retired or moved on. Yes, they gave me a sense of belonging.

As a contrarian thinker, I laugh at thinking of the sense of belonging I felt after changing careers. While attending a local professional meeting, I felt that sense of belonging when I realized I disagreed with most people who spoke. 

I think about how culture provides a sense of belonging. The European immigrants of the late 1800s to early 1900s packed up their families and some personal possessions to move to an unknown land in another part of the world while leaving much behind. The sense of belonging is why neighborhoods became known as Little Italy, Chinatown, and others. 

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Visiting northern Tuscany gives me a sense of belonging. Walking the streets of my mother’s hometown warms my heart. Traveling up the valley toward Bagni di Lucca touches my soul. Eventually reaching the road leading me up the mountain to the small village near its summit stirs my past. The home of my paternal grandparents. A place that I have documentation of my family back to at least 1560. Yes, this place gives me a sense of belonging and is part of the reason leading me to dual citizenship late in my life.

Perhaps a sense of belonging is a reason for some to blog – or for long-time bloggers (like me) to keep doing so. Blogging can be very time-consuming – even addictive. Like anything in life, balance is important, but I admit the sense of belonging here because of what others give to me – not me to them.

I think about how the elements of culture provide a sense of belonging. Language, customs, dress, music, arts, food, attitudes, and more aspects of culture provide a sense of belonging that links people together. Yes, older generations worry about younger generations losing a sense of cultural belonging – but the young will not forget their sense of belonging as they establish new ones. 

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This place with this beach is only my residence for two months of the year. Its long stretch of soft, whitish sand with milder temperatures that are warmer than home gives me a sense of belonging. My lifestyle as an alter ego removed from the normal routine of home is also part of the sense of belonging. So is listening to the local musicians, renewing the new friendships we’ve established here, and making new ones – plus walking the beach

I’ve enjoyed thinking about belonging today. Belonging is more than just language, heritage, place, home, and associations – but they are all important pieces of belonging. Besides, I know I belong here because I like walking on the beach. It is good for the mind, body, and soul – and refreshing on my feet.

See what other bloggers have posted about Belonging

• Belonging to Yourself (an essay)
• Belonging: connection (a poem)
• All We Want a Sense of Belonging (a personal religious essay)
• Sense of Belonging (a short essay)

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