I didn’t realize how much we hold onto things until writing the first essay, then reader comments expanded my initial thoughts. This is a blend of readers’ comments from the first Hold essay and additional thoughts from me. Thank you readers for your contributions.
Click the video above for 2 minutes of background waves while reading.
I like to walk on the beach. It is good for the mind, body, and soul – and refreshing on my feet.
We crave connections: the physical, emotional, and spiritual. We form and hold connections from the moment we are born to the moment we die. We hold hands, ideas, and beliefs. Eventually, we hold onto self-awareness!
We hold onto something because it can be a sense of security – especially in times of insecurity. We hold certain truths to be self-evident, such as life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, while our holds on bitterness, anger, and resentment challenge us.
We hold on to our hearts and minds – especially people, places, things, and memories. But we also hold on to hope because, during difficult times, we hold firm to the ramp of hope to navigate the difficult path.
Hold is a reluctance to move sometimes that is within us. We hold onto memories of the departed who have been dear to us. Memories allow the departed to be among the living and keep them a part of this world. We hold on to my memories because I know they are fading, and they are part of me.
When someone passes, we hold on to their stuff like it was ours. Well, maybe it was. Some of us want to hold on to it, but others want to place it in the trash. Others must hold it one more time before letting go.
Unfortunately for some of us, dementia and Alzheimer’s break those connections, and the person can’t hold onto all the things that anchor them – so they drift away like a boat no longer held to the dock.
Holding on can deliver both mental and physical pain. Back pain from too much gardening, too much sitting, or other reasons? But these can also be signs or metaphors for life’s burdens and demons that we need to release to remove the psychological and physical pain.
We hold on and hold off. We proclaim, “To have and to hold’ til death do us part.” Life changes as we age, but if we hold the love, we are good til the last drop.
Nobody likes being on hold or in a holding pattern on a plane, but do you remember when people put merchandise “on hold” in a store?
We hold onto many things in life: grudges, hats, hands, noses, tongues, breath, memories, court, horses, forts, aces, and all the cards. We can even hold back tears and hold on tight. While some hold the purse strings, others hold their liquor and hold on tight while holding hands.
There are no holds barred while holding one at arm’s length, but we hold others’ feet to the fire while holding our heads high. After all, if we hold our mouths the right way, we can say the right things and do things right.
Holding onto something and holding on to someone are very different despite being the same. We hold onto much in life, but that could be part of being human.
We hold onto things we think are obligations – but they are not. Things that we don’t have time for – but because it is part of us, we hold on to them – and our blogs are an example for some of us.
I’m holding on to these thoughts and all the other essays I created here. It’s been fun, and full of memories – plus the delight of engaging with people from across the world. Hopefully, my time here will continue because it doesn’t feel like an obligation. Well, at least not yet. Thanks for reminding me to be more present in the moment as I hold onto it – whatever ‘it’ is. After all, I like to walk on the beach. It is good for the mind, body, and soul – and refreshing on my feet.
See what other bloggers have posted about Hold
- Romance is What Holds (a poem)
- Hold Right with Palms Wide Open (a short story)
- On Writing: Characters on Hold (an essay)
- I Hold My Pen Once Again (a poem)
Next Post: Boundaries – Saturday 26th August @ 1 AM (Eastern US)
Hi Frank, a lovely esssy, lots of food for thought. I don’t hold onto people or things as much as many others. I moved too many times as a youngster and had to break ties and give up things each time. I shall reflect further.
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Same here, but not as much because we moved when I was young. My dad was a trader so we never kept the same vehicle for long, pets, or such.
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It teaches you to let go of things 😊
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Shelia,
I’m sure you learned to cope with moving. Have you moved much as an adult?
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Way too much! Ha! I was also an IT travel consultant for some years and towed a travel trailer and worked all over the USA too!
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Oh boy … that must have been both rewarding and a grind.
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Robbie,
Your comment is not the first time I’ve noted comments from people who moved a lot in their youth. I recall one person telling me that she learned not to get too attached. Nonetheless, glad you enjoyed the essay and thanks for sharing.
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My pleasure, I’m glad I’m not overly attached to things 💞
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thanks for a lovely start to the day, Frank.
though deeply thought provoking… insightful too and easier on the mind with those waves in the background 👌
“We hold on and hold off… ”
nicely said. 🤍
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Destiny,
Your comment captured much of what I try to achieve with every essay … especially relaxing and thought-provoking. Glad that I was able to start you day. (I normally post at the same time.) Where in the world are you located? I’m in Ohio USA (away from the beach, but I do my drafting when at the Gulf of Mexico.)
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your essays are always wonderful to read, Frank.
South Africa… (less than an hour away from the Durban beaches 😁)
Thank you again 🤍
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Thanks for the kind words … and glad to have another South African here. 🙂 Thanks for letting me know. I like knowing the whereabout of readers.
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most welcome, Frank 🤍
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So nicely written and beautifully captured thoughts about the topic. Holding on, let’s continue to keep holding on to the good 😊
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Ritva,
Thanks for the kind words … and I much appreciate your thought of holding on to the good!
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I love your observations, Frank. You have given me something to ponder since my mom, aunt, and grandmother all passed with Alzheimer’s dementia.
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Shelia,
Thanks for sharing a bit about your family. I imagine that could weigh on your mind.
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I don’t worry but do focus on prevention.
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The only thing I really WANT to hold on to are my memories……they can easily slip away as we age – at least for some of us. My Mom had Alzheimers and I watched her confusion advance as time slipped by and she forgot who she was – I want to hold on to as much as I can.
Pam
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Pam,
Thanks for sharing a bit about your mother …. and your concern and desire is understandable. Keep your head facing the shining sun!
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Beautifully written, my friend. I do remember the first one and happy to see we’re all holding on! 😉
Yamas, my friend!
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Marina,
Thank you … and cheers to the readers that gave additional ideas.
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Oh yes!!! 😉 🍷
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Lovely reflections to hold onto, Frank!
Hope you have a lovely weekend!
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Merril,
Thank you. Recently returned from a quick trip to Cleveland for a family gathering … therefore now trying to catch up on the comments.
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You’re welcome, Frank!
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Good take on hold Cincy
I no longer hold onto a collection but once upon a time, I had so many. Baseball cards to old neon signs, soda machines, quilts, coca cola merchandise, you name it. I knew I had a problem when I went to a second storage unit on top the stuff I stashed in the garage and basement.
It no longer has a hold on me 😉
The Yankees, however, have a hold on last place.
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Marc,
Collecting anything can take a hold on a person … and I imagine all of us are guilty about something. But it seems you had quite the memorabilia collection. Which was for favorite baseball card? Favorite thing? Meanwhile, I see the gap out of the cellar is widening …. now that must be a disappointing.
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I know this well.
My favorite baseball card that I sold was a Nolan Ryan rookie card. My favorite card that I still have is a Willie Mays 1954 Topps in near mint condition. That was the year Mays won his first and only World Series title over the Indians.
Favorite thing was a 1961 Buick Skylark, white top on dark crimson. Great shape. I bought it for 200 bucks from a guy who was getting rid of it before I realized I didn’t know a thing about cars. I babied it, found an odd part here and there for it, it was harder back in the day. I had a mechanic friend who tinkered with it. I ended up reselling it years later for 2 grand. I probably broke even. Maybe. Still, it was a cool little number, with the bench seat and that little window panel.
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Oh wow … a ’61 Skylark sound interesting. Are either of your kids interested in your collectibles?
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No, which is why I have downsized as much as I have.
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Bummer
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I’m here with you, holding on to experiences that bring me peace of mind, and when I’m able, the beautiful memories of yesterday. Thanks for expressing the process so well and sharing it here.
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Debra,
Welcome first-time beach walker to the thought-provoking sands of my beach. Thank you for the kind words and I hope you return. How did you find out about me?
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Sheila “Spiral Sister” shared a link to your post on her blog. The thoughts were on my mind. Letting go of some physical things that no longer serve sounds like a nice ritual for a birthday around the corner in September. I’m in Kansas, far from a beach so also enjoyed the images. much love, in lak’ech, Debra
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Welcome Kansas! … and thanks for letting me know. You may be interested in my first Hold essay. Here’s the link. https://beachwalkreflections.wordpress.com/2022/06/29/142-hold/
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As I age, I’ve come to realize the cost of holding on to physical things can be very high and have begun the process of “Swedish Death cleaning.” It’s been utterly life changing, in a good way. Savoring the memories yet ditching the extraneous physical ‘stuff’ from those memories has been liberating. I’m sure it’s much different and challenging for those who suffer from dementia-my heart goes out to them. Have a good weekend, Frank.
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Monika,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and you personal encounters with Swedish Death cleaning. All of us must go through times of purging stuff. After all, who else wants it besides us? It’s not always true because sometimes there is an answer.
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Wonderful essay Frank. You covered the term “hold” from every angle there is it seems. I wonder if some of the things we hold on to, both physical and memory, are a test for teaching us how to “let go”. I held on to collections, clothes that I “might” wear again, and negative memories. I finally let that baggage go and am all the better for it.
I am glad I can sit down every Saturday and hold on to my iPad and read one of your thought provoking essays. A good essay from you….well, my dad would have said, “Now that’s something you can hang your hat on!”
Hope you and your bride have a lovely weekend.
Ginger
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Ginger,
You are always good at stimulating my thoughts …. and I like holding on as a test to let go. Oh boy … do we ever hold on too stuff. Moving is a great time to purge … but I find myself going going through purging times! Meanwhile, thanks for the kind words about my essays. I want them to be thought-provoking while displaying a sense of calm/relaxation. We had a good weekend – including a whirlwind weekend up Saturday-back Sunday 3-hour trip to Cleveland to celebrate a 5th birthday of a great niece.
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Hold is such a flexible word.
Now I’m humming the Beatles “You’ve Really Got a Hold On Me”…(K)
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Kerfe,
Flexible is a good adjective for hold …. I’ll add versitile. I have forgotten about that song. Thanks … and here it is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rokS8Ao4nQ
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Thanks Frank.
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Loads of holding . We tend to hold in our private thoughts and hold our tongues. As a mother I’ve done both because I hold fragile hearts and minds that if dropped might break….
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Muri,
Definitely loads of holding in life … and for sure, holding our tongues is difficult – but then again, it yields benefits when we learn how to keep ourselves in control.
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Sometimes I think the hardest thing in life is to determine what to hold on to and what to let go…
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Lisa,
There is no question that life has a way of testing our hold on stuff … and stuff’s hold on us.
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You got that right!!
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A touching post to make me think. Hold takes on a new meaning. I do know I hold on to too much stuff and too much of the past.
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Jo,
The fact that this post made you think delivered a smile to my face. 🙂 … After all, that’s one of my goals!
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Frank,
So many reasons (for us) to hold onto things. And once we are gone the ones left behind are left to deal with them while wondering why we did. I’ve been looking at my basement and all the stuff that I know my kids will want nothing to do with. Why am I holding them still?
Sigh. We humans can be funny.
Happy Saturday!
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Dale,
Oh my … is that ever true. We do it to others and our parents did it to us. I remember going through my dad’s stuff …. of course I found some nuggets, but most were pitched. But I think about that from my end too … .and occasionally go into purge mode! Thanks for sharing.
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Your post just happened to coincide with mine 😉 We’re in synch!
I know most if not all my stuff will get pitched…
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Cheers to serendipitous posts. Clink!
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🥂
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Frank,
Terrific essay, thank you!
I have been getting rid of stuff I once held onto for the last 10 years. I make sure to give stuff away to friends or the Goodwill, recycle, I sell things other people really want, and some stuff I have left from the movies I did brings in a few dollars more, I turn some old clothes and fabrics into gowns, and the 1 thing I don’t often do is throw stuff in the garbage.
Yay, I create space!
Not.
The universe has decided that with all the space I create, I should hold onto some other stuff.
Anyway, as maddening as it is, I’m still working on it. Cheers! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htgr3pvBr-I&list=RDhtgr3pvBr-I&start_radio=1
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Resa,
Purge mode is important to all of us. We too also try to donate as much as possible. It would be interesting to know what the nieces and nephews would take in the end. Well, hopefully they wouldn’t pitch the nice things. Then again, that’s how collectables end up at Goodwill. Thanks for sharing! …. and loved the classic song!
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True!
Well, my niece has the Hendrix and Morrison bottles now. Says that’s all she wants. That and copies of all the movies I designed the costumes for. Done! So, that’s that.
Good ol’ Goodwill! Clink!
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Good news … clink!
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These comments are just wonderful!
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Jennie,
Thank you for mentioning the comments. After all, I find inspiration in many of them!!!!
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Yes, you do, and that brings reflections full circle. Wonderful!
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I love Sarah McLachlan and I choose to hold onto the good (but not the bad and the ugly) thanks Frank.
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Cristina,
This song by Sarah McL was a last-minute decision – so thanks for letting me know you enjoyed it. Cheers to your positive attitude of focusing to hold onto the good!
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I think the happiest people are the ones who don’t hold onto *things* but do hold onto special people and memories. Your description of a person with Alzheimer’s is heartbreaking. The mother of one of my friends had that, and it was so awfully sad the mom didn’t even know her own daughter. Thanks for giving us some more deep things to think about today, Frank!
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Debbie,
Glad I could provide some things to think about. Cheers to the many people who have delivered good memories to keep in our lives. Meanwhile, the horrors of Alzheimer’s are many – and oh how the families suffer. Thanks for sharing.
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I hadn’t thought about how many ways “hold” can be applied to our actions and beliefs, Frank. I really believe the more we don’t hold on–to anything too tightly–the better our overall life experience. But I think the truest thing you shared is that maybe some of our “holding on” is just a result of being human. You’ve packed in a lot of thought material here, my friend!
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Debra,
Thanks for the kind words and thinking about what I write. I like your thought – all the things we hold on to … even in the two essays about hold – yes – all a part of being human.
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This is another good collection of thoughts, Frank
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Dan,
Thanks …. and a special shout-out to those making profound comments in the first Hold essay that stimulated my thoughts.
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Good morning Frank – I’m a little late to the walk, better late than never, right. 😉 On my desk this morning is a sympathy card and on the cover is a bird on a reed and light blue flowers and the words Sometimes there are no words. . . Your lines “Unfortunately for some of us, dementia and Alzheimer’s break those connections, and the person can’t hold onto all the things that anchor them – so they drift away like a boat no longer held to the dock.” hit home as my aunt who had Alzheimer’s passed away a week ago. I work for a company that takes care of the elderly with memory care issues. My mom had Vascular Dementia and I was her POA. I’ve been so deep in Dementia for 15 years. I agree, it truly is a drifting away from life. Sometimes the waves are harsh and nasty and other times the waves are gentle reminders that love and tender moments will be what is eventually remembered by us when our loved one passes peacefully away. Thank you for sharing your thought-provoking words about holding on! 🤗🥰
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Shelley,
Oh wow … thanks for sharing various aspects of Alzheimer’s in your family. So difficult …. but also thanks you for saying that my description was fitting. Peace and memories to you and your family regarding your aunt. Meanwhile, I returned last week (topic was Black) – so you haven’t missed much. 🙂
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You’re welcome. Thanks for letting me ramble 😉
I’m glad I didn’t miss much – it’s been a busy time in our lives so forgive me for being late to the party.
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🙂 “Emptying the nest” is not easy. You often write about this subject.
Husband’s path and mine will going on with my father and (Alzheimer) mother, at home.
So may you words help us.
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Be strong!
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“your words”
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Aw, Anne, I’m sorry to hear about your family also having Alzheimer’s to deal with. I think it’s hard to find a family nowadays that hasn’t been touched by it in one way or another. I’m sending hugs, patience, and thoughts for perseverance your way 🤗
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An excellent read! I am guilty of this.
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Pam,
Thank you …. and all of us are guilty of holding on to something. Well, that’s being human. 🙂
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so Well articulated Frank! love this❣️
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Cindy,
Thank you. Cheers to reader comments that helped me. Hope all is going well with your daughter.
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You’re so welcome Frank. Cheers to that. Thanks a lot… all good with baby…thanks. xo
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Un texte aux pensées profondes, comme toujours je vous dis MERCI.
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Ann,
… et je vous dis merci pour votre gentillesse et votre appréciation.
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Well done Frank – I sometimes wonder how long it takes you to develop your posts which are always so thoughtful and cover so much ground. This one made me think of the many songs about Holding On. Maybe another version?!
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Tina,
I’m glad you enjoyed this essay and thanks for the kind words. To answer your question – each essay takes a while. From thinking to jotting down thoughts, then stringing them together into something sensible. Then editing, adding, changing, … then finally polishing. I’m still working (in the background) on essays that I drafted last winter. (I think I drafted over 35 during last snowbird season).
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I have no problem of letting go of objects – I moved to Lyon with two carloads of belongings. However, lately I have been holding on situationally, e.g.: relationships, opportunities. I don’t want to close doors, a mix of not wanting to close off the past, not wanting to give up hope, and a fear of missing out. I am hearing “move on” in my self-talk.
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Yahooey,
Wow … you have tapped into two great examples regarding holding. Moving is a great opportunity to downsize the stuff, so (regardless of the circumstances) moving with two carloads is quite the accomplishment. Then again, the hold relationships have on a person is much easier said than done. Your final sentence states it well. Best wishes to you!
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Thanks Frank
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